It seems to me that we have lost track of what it means to be civil in today's world. 

Political debates often degenerate into pointless name-calling and television programs are in competition to be the most "in your face." With all of the hostility that surrounds us, it is ever more difficult to avoid being hostile. This can be doubly true if you find yourself in the midst of a hotly contested divorce. 

With emotions running high, most people are tempted to give in to the "dark side" and lash out at the people around them. While this course of action may bring temporary relief, it only makes things worse in the long run. I'm a firm believer in the idea that what goes around comes around. 

If your spouse engages in baseless mudslinging, the best course of action is not to retaliate by slinging more mud. If left alone, the party slinging mud usually ends up the muddiest. Sometimes the most powerful and effective voice is the softest. Civility in a divorce can civilize the process, turning an enemy into a friend and an adversary into an ally. It may not be fun, but it often gets better results than open hostility.

The world seems to have forgotten the simple truth that you get more flies with honey than vinegar. Civility is not just an antiquated notion, it is the glue that helps bind civilization together in cooperation, and cooperation in a highly contested divorce is certainly sweeter than honey.