Steps in a Divorce

Every 12 seconds, a divorce is finalized in the United States. By definition, divorce is a legislatively created and judicially administered process that legally terminates a marriage. Divorce is also known as dissolution of marriage. Traditionally, divorce was fault-based, meaning one of the spouses had to be at fault for the divorce but, no longer. The truth is, this system didn’t work because so many marriages that fail have nothing to do with one spouse doing something wrong.

In the court’s eyes, divorce is the breakup of a partnership, particularly a business partnership. Just like a business’s breakup or dissolution, there are assets to be divided, financial details to work out, and items or people to be shared, such as children.

The divorce planning is the first step of the divorce process. Once you’ve decided to proceed with a divorce, your next step is to reach agreements – if you can – with your spouse. Most often, this discussion begins by having a talk before the actual negotiating talk. In between these two talks, you allow yourselves a cooling-off period during which you and your spouse each get time to absorb the reality of your divorce and contemplate the issues that you must soon agree upon.

When you do begin discussing the issues, attempt to come to agreement on as many of these as possible, and then take your differences to legal counsel to negotiate these points. Once your attorney identifies the legal issues between you and your spouse, the next step will be for a complaint to be filed identifying those issues for which you are seeking judicial relief.

Once the complaint is filed, you will go through a process called discovery where you and your spouse gather all of the necessary information to negotiate the issues. The discovery process can be done formally or informally. The informal method involves gathering information with your spouse or through the attorney via letters and phone calls, while the formal process involves asking and answering, under oath, written requests from the other party for information. The parties may also engage experts, either jointly or individually, who help determine the contested issues such as property division or child custody and visitation.

After the necessary information has been gathered, you and your spouse, along with your lawyers, will attempt to reach an agreement by determining how best to split your assets and arrange custody. The process of reaching an agreement can take a very short amount of time, but can also be quite lengthy depending on the complexity of the case and how willing each party is to compromise.

Once you negotiate, either successfully or not, the divorce will either go to trial or end in an agreement. While it is preferable to reach an agreement with your spouse, you must never be afraid of litigation or you’ll feel pressured into accepting an agreement that is not equitable or desirable.